Dedicated swimmer sprouts gills and a fish tail (APRIL FOOLS’)

Hudha Khan; Graphics by Sameeha Shafik

Junior Mare Maide is becoming a half-human, half-fish hybrid.

A SCHS swimmer seems to be evolving into a mermaid. The causes are still being researched, but at the moment, only one student is affected.

“Something is wrong with me,” junior Mare Maide said. “I can’t walk normally. There are flippers where my feet used to be. I can’t even wear shoes like a normal kid.”

After a chaotic 72 hours in the emergency room, Maide is finally coming to accept that she is evolving into a hybrid. According to her doctor, Dr. Hoss Pitale, Maide is showing physical attributes of a fish. Using newly-formed gills, Maide can breath easily under water.

Maide’s coach, Aqua Marine, is proud of Maide handling the sudden changes so well. Principal Shell Bee, however, refused to comment on this situation.

“It must be due to all that time she spends in the water – especially waking up at 4:00 a.m. every day to be in the pool for morning practice,” freshman Sunny Rise said.

A determined and motivated person, Maide trains hard rain or shine, according to Maide.

“I learned how to swim at age four,” Maid said. “Ironically, I originally hated being in the water, but now I cannot imagine my life without it.”

Dr. Nähr Whalle believes  Maide’s condition has evolved from her skin’s constant contact with the chlorine in the water.

“The chlorine had penetrated deep into her skin so that her body’s cells are forming into fish cells, including gills and flippers,” Whalle said.

Currently, there is little evidence as to whether or not this trait is hereditary or contagious.  Whalle said he will continue looking into this unusual phenomenon.

Recently, the school turned off the pool’s heating system in order to save money.

Some believe Bee has been adding Neutra Fina, a serum, into the pool to make morning practice in the unheated pool bearable. An unknown side effect may be the reason for Maide’s changes.

Maide has been cleared to compete in events and has been setting unprecedented records for the SCHS team.

“I wish I had similar characteristics,” senior Dory Poseidon said. “We’ve all become super close despite our differences.”

The swim team has come together in support of Maid’s identity.

“Initially, I was afraid to step out on the pool deck with my flippers, but the whole swimming team came together to defend me if anyone tried to ridicule me,” Maid said. “I can’t express my gratitude and appreciation for being part of such an accepting community.”