Angel Mollinier

One reporter reflects on how competition in her childhood has influenced the way she sees success.

Growing up, I was taught that life was a race. If I stopped running – thinking I was ahead – then I would eventually be left behind. With this mindset, I was constantly pushing myself with assignments and catching up with the latest trends to keep in line with others around me. Working on self-reflection and acknowledging unique qualities, however, truly prevented me from thinking everything was a competition.

I was raised in a huge family with many cousins and extended cousins, who immediately became the individuals I was racing against. As soon as I stepped into kindergarten, I was taught that I had to be the best of the best. Since I had cousins who were also around my age, my parents would persistently remind me to stay ahead, which made me feel more intimidated than encouraged.

Rather than enjoying learning or friendships, I focused on meeting expectations that were never clearly defined but always seemed to be in the back of my mind. I set strict standards for myself, believing that winning was the only way to be considered valuable. Any mistake or failure felt like a confirmation of not being good enough.

Running away from finding my self-worth shoved me into a toxic mindset that felt like there was no point in doing anything if I couldn’t check off certain boxes. Living through this perspective during most of my adolescence made me notice a competitive and comparative mentality rooted in the people around me as well.

I started to realize that my competitive mindset was not something I developed on my own. The habit of weighing different lives, achievements and happiness seemed to be passed down through everyday conversations. This imaginary competition was not only something I struggled with but was also reflected in the environment I grew up in.

My mom would often share how she saw one of my aunts post about her new trip to Hawaii, her co-worker visiting Japan for the second time that year, or my little cousin baking a cake for her father’s birthday. My mom would say, “She’s so lucky. I wish I could be as wealthy as her,” or “Your cousin is so much younger than you, yet she can still do all of this. Why can’t you be more like her?”

Hearing these comments repeatedly made comparison feel unavoidable. Everything around me became reminders of what I lacked and had not achieved – visiting family, looking at photo albums, even casual conversations. Instead of celebrating their accomplishments, my focus became centered around measuring my own success against somebody else’s.

Over time, this mindset shaped how I viewed myself. My wins felt miniscule, and my hard work seemed unworthy of being seen. What was planted as harmless observations sprouted into irrational expectations, revealing how easily comparison can influence confidence and self-esteem.

Later on, social media became another space where competition thrived. I tried everything to appear the same way by following every trend, fashion styles and haircuts that did not even suit me just to appear as somebody else. Many people, including girls my age, begin to measure themselves by how they compare to others online, whether through followers, likes or appearances.

This mindset can become exhausting. Constantly comparing oneself to others can create insecurities, removing self-acceptance and making it difficult to feel confident. What should be a platform for creativity and connection often turns into a race to meet unrealistic expectations.

When success is depicted by status, popularity or milestones, uniqueness is pushed aside. This way of thinking encourages competition instead of understanding, causing people to overlook their own growth and strengths while focusing on what they believe they are missing – a person’s value is based merely on appearances.

By recognizing self-worth, it is important that people realize everybody has their unique traits, and it is not necessary to fit under one umbrella labelled as successful or superior. As long as everyone accepts their so-called flaws and embraces their individuality, then there will not be such a huge competition between us and the people we care for.