Students sell organs to pay for expensive AP tests (APRIL FOOLS’)

After several years of conducting a program to sell organs to pay for AP tests, the district has approved a three year plan to pay for all first-time AP test takers in order to encourage testing.

With over seven billion students taking AP tests each year, the new payment plan comes as a shock to some students who already invested in the previous program that allowed students to sell their organs to help pay for the costly tests.

I heard about this program when I was a freshman so I decided to invest in a better future by selling both of my kidneys to pay for all four of the AP classes I was taking,” junior Kid Ney said. “If I had known my lifetime of dialysis could have been prevented perhaps I would have kept my kidneys.”

But for students like sophomore Robyn Banks, who sold her esophagus to pay for her AP PE test, the previous organ selling program was more of an educational opportunity that the new payments lack.

“Having all my AP tests paid for last year while just giving up my esophagus seemed like the obvious choice,” Banks said. “This new program takes away from some of the necessary experiences in life that I think everyone should have because it taught me more about the digestive system.”

According to Tu Morrow, the Public Information Officer for the district, the program is set for the next three years to take away from some of the stress caused by the expensive tests.

“We never wanted organs to be the reason students couldn’t partake in things that are important for their future, but with this new payment plan not only can students keep their organs, but now they can also earn the college credit they work all year for” Morrow said.